Not Over You: Admitting It
by erm31323
Summary: Prize for the 100th reviewer of Resolution. Told from Sirius' POV during a few key events in Not Over You, Sirius finally admits his feelings to Catherine, as well as to himself.


**A/N - This is a horribly, horribly late prize for sarahmichellegellarfan1 for being the 100th reviewer of Resolution. Seriously, I think I have owed her this since April or something ridiculous like that. I can only beg forgiveness at the amount of time it has taken me to write this. Anyway, she wanted something from Not Over You involving Sirius and Catherine. Remus also insisted on having his say, so I hope you don't mind! :) These snippets take place during Chapters 2, 4 and 6 of Not Over You.**

**This is also my entry fee submission for the Hogwarts Fair on HPFC. **

**28 September 1976**

Sirius kicked at a small stone on the floor of the tunnel, hands shoved into his pockets, shoulders slumped. Even the trek into Hogsmeade and raiding Honeydukes' cellar hadn't cheered him up like it normally did.

It had been a week; an entire week without Remus even looking at him and James just shaking his head in disappointment whenever Sirius walked into their dorm. Pete was the only one that was still speaking to him, but only if the other two weren't around which didn't happen every often. Sirius knew it was his fault and he supposed he really couldn't blame them. It had gotten so bad that he'd slept in the common room the night before and tonight he was contemplating staying on the Astronomy Tower.

Sighing, he realized that he had reached the end of the tunnel and pulled the map out of his pocket to check it. He was extremely glad that he'd been the one to have it on him when everything had happened last week. At least he could avoid getting more detention on top of everything else.

Tapping the map with his wand, he held it up to the light of the torch on the wall and began to examine the corridor outside the tunnel. He didn't see anyone at first and expanded his search to find wherever Filch was skulking about so as to avoid him. When he came across Mrs. Norris' name, sure enough he saw Filch only a corridor away. They were close enough to the tunnel that Sirius thought it prudent to wait a bit.

There was another dot moving in his direction labeled Catherine Powell. Sirius' brow furrowed as he tried to put a name with the face. Ah, right she was a Ravenclaw, fourth year if he wasn't mistaken. She was the one that he'd kept from falling out the train door when she was a first year; brown curly hair, dark eyes, quite pretty actually. Looking back at the map, he watched her dot move closer and realized that Mrs. Norris was chasing her followed closely by Filch.

Frowning, Sirius made his way up toward the humped-backed witch statue, watching Catherine on the map the entire time. She was definitely going to pass by this way and Mrs. Norris and Filch were getting closer to her all the time. Making a decision, Sirius quietly opened the statue a bit, then watched the map and waited.

Years of hitting bludgers at exactly the right moment paid off as he reached an arm out of the opening just as she ran past and grabbed her. He pulled her quickly into the tunnel and tapped the statue to close it before the two of them tumbled down the incline to the hard packed dirt tunnel below.

Sirius could tell that Catherine was less than pleased to find he was the one who had come to her rescue. He supposed it was because she was a Ravenclaw. He had less luck with girls from that house than any of the others, given their propensity for not only thinking most people less intelligent than they were and therefore beneath them, but also lacking a distinct sense of humor as far as any of the Marauders' pranks were concerned.

Still they were usually fun to banter with and this one was no exception. In fact, he was a bit surprised to find that she did have a sense of humor after all. He was even more surprised to find out that she was not excelling in all of her classes. Not that she admitted it to him directly, but even after only spending a few minutes with her, he could tell that she wasn't being exactly truthful.

He had walked her back to her common room, showing her a few hidden passageways along the way and reiterated his offer to help once again. She hadn't said yes, but she hadn't said no either. He waited until she went into her dorm before walking off towards the Astronomy Tower, small smile on his face.

* * *

**December 1976**

Sirius came through the portrait hole into the common room after walking Catherine back to her tower and looked around. Remus was sitting by the fire reading, but James and Peter were nowhere to be seen. Sirius hesitated. Things had been slowly getting better between him and Moony; Remus had finally forgiven him and Sirius had sworn he would never to anything to endanger Remus' secret again. But there was still a bit of tension at times, especially just before the moon like this. Sighing, Sirius made his way toward his friend and flopped down in the chair across from him anyway.

"Padfoot," Remus acknowledged once Sirius had sat down.

"Hey Moony," Sirius said. "Where's Prongs and Wormtail?"

"Wormtail is finishing up that Charms essay and Prongs is pretending not to stare at Lily in the library again," Remus explained. Sirius nodded and stared off into the fire without making any kind of quip about James and Lily.

"Sirius is something wrong?" Remus asked.

"What makes you ask that?" Sirius replied.

"It's the night before the full moon," Remus said. "You're not normally this morose."

"I'm not morose," Sirius protested. Remus smirked and shook his head. Sirius' eyes narrowed, but he said nothing.

"Is this about Catherine Powell?" Remus asked nonchalantly a few moments later. Sirius stared at him, mouth agape, before he recovered and schooled his features.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he said with a sniff. Remus looked back at his book and continued to read.

"You have been spending an awful lot of time with her lately," Remus said conversationally.

"I'm helping her study, Moony, you know that," Sirius retorted.

"So you say," Remus replied with a shrug, not looking up.

"So I _am_, Remus," Sirius said tightly. "We're just friends."

"All right," Remus returned in that infuriatingly patient tone that really meant he wasn't buying anything Sirius was trying to sell him. Annoyed, Sirius huffed and stood.

"I've got packing to do," he nearly growled and stomped off toward the stairs to the dorms, Remus' annoying chuckle following him.

* * *

They'd been on the train for less than thirty minutes and Sirius already felt like he was going to jump out of his skin. He'd slept like shite the last few nights, dreams of Catherine awakening him more than once. He didn't understand it. Not the dreams, he'd had plenty of those types of dreams before, but the way he felt afterward. It was different and he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Truth be told, he wasn't sure he wanted to find out either.

Finally after he'd bumped James with his elbow yet again, his fellow Marauder turned on him with a scowl.

"What in the name of Merlin is wrong with you?" James demanded.

"Nothing," Sirius said quickly.

"You're bouncing around like a five year-old that's had one too many Peppermint Toads," James said dryly. "Something is going on." Sirius glanced at Remus and caught his friend's knowing look. James didn't seem to notice and Peter was oblivious as usual.

"Come on Padfoot, let's get some air," Remus suggested and rose and took Sirius by the arm. Sirius followed him until they were in the corridor and then shook the werewolf off.

"I don't need a minder," Sirius said in a huff and stalked off, Remus following behind him.

"You know it might help if you talk about it," Remus said a few moments later once they entered the next car.

"Nothing to talk about," Sirius said gruffly. Remus wisely remained silent as they moved down the cars of the train. Sirius opened the next door and was about to step through when he came face to face with Catherine. An older Ravenclaw was holding her arm, Sirius was sure he was a seventh year, and another boy stood behind them. Sirius looked at Catherine in confusion, but as soon as he saw the fear in her eyes he had a fairly good idea of what was going on.

The confrontation didn't last long. There weren't many students that would tangle with more than one of the Marauders at a time. Once Dewhurst and Lancaster had left, Sirius turned back to Catherine. Remus realized before he did that she'd had a silencing spell cast on her and cancelled it. She wrapped her arms around herself and Sirius didn't even think; he just stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, his heart still pounding with fury at the thought that the two Ravenclaws might have hurt her.

He hushed her with nonsensical words and rubbed her back, even kissing her temple before he realized what he was doing. Thankfully, she stepped away from him at that point or he might have done something completely stupid. However, his anger spiked again as she recounted what had happened as well as the fact that this was what she'd meant when she'd told him before about issues with some of her housemates.

Sirius insisted on walking her back to her compartment, even though she protested. He managed to regain some of his equilibrium when Catherine mentioned that her friend Myra had a visitor and that's why she'd left the compartment in the first place. But when he'd gone to say good-bye to her, he found that he wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and protect her from anyone who wanted to do her harm. He'd even nearly caressed her cheek before he remembered that they weren't alone. He had finally left after wishing her a happy holiday.

"Just friends, huh?" Remus quipped as they walked back toward their own compartment.

"Shut it Moony," Sirius growled. Remus chuckled.

"I don't understand why this is bothering you so much," Remus said. "Given your vast experience and all." Sirius glared at him.

"She's only fourteen for Merlin's sake," Sirius snapped.

"I believe Susan Anderson was only fourteen," Remus continued. "Calliope Davis too." Sirius stopped and whirled on his friend.

"Just what are you trying to imply Remus?" Sirius demanded.

"I'm not implying anything," Remus returned. "I'm simply pointing out that that your excuses are invalid." Sirius turned to the window and braced himself against it. "What's really going on here Padfoot?"

"Nothing," Sirius said. "Just…nothing. We're just friends."

"Somehow I get the feeling that's not it either," Remus said. "Maybe you feel more for her than you're willing to admit." Remus clapped him once on the shoulder and then walked back to their compartment. Sirius stood and stared at the scenery flying by outside. He didn't have feelings for anyone, let alone Catherine Powell. That kind of thing only got you hurt in the end. Regardless, he knew she didn't have any feelings for him except gratitude for helping her with Transfiguration. They were just friends and Sirius intended to keep it that way.

* * *

**June 1977**

Sirius hurried to the study room to find out how Catherine had done on her exam. He was confident that she'd done well; she had improved ten-fold since the fall when they'd first started studying together. But she still wasn't as confident in herself as she should be and Sirius hoped that hadn't made her too nervous.

The last few months had been amazing and crushingly disappointing all at the same time. He reveled in the time he got to spend with her. Sometimes he caught her looking at him and he had a brief moment of hope that she felt the same, but it was always gone in an instant and he knew he had just imagined it. Besides, even if she did feel the same way, he couldn't act on his feelings for her. He would put her more danger than she already was.

He had finally accepted what Remus had been trying to tell him and knew that he cared about her. He thought he might even be in love with her. He had never felt this way about any other girl he'd ever been with. They'd all been challenges to him, challenges to conquer. And once he'd done so, the excitement had worn off quickly and he'd moved on to the next. Catherine was different though. The thought of even kissing her made his heart pound and his palms sweat. He hadn't felt that way about anyone, not the first girl he kissed when he was thirteen or even the first one he'd bedded two years later.

The fact that she had protected Moony's secret just as vehemently as the rest of the Marauders had, well save_ his_ one idiotic moment, only strengthened what he felt for her. Remus wasn't even really her friend, or at least not as close of a friend, and she had still kept what Sirius had told her in confidence. She hadn't acted any different around Moony that Sirius could see and he knew that Remus appreciated that more than anything.

Pulling in a deep breath, Sirius stepped into the study room. She was sitting on the couch, looking a bit dejected and his heart sunk. The fact that she handed him the parchment with her grades instead of telling him made him even surer it hadn't gone well. So when he saw that 'O' next to Transfiguration, well, he blamed his shock for what happened next.

He twirled her around and they laughed together, before he set her back on her feet. The problem was that she didn't let go of him. He stared at her for what felt like hours, although he knew it was only a few seconds. And then he lowered his head and brushed her lips with his.

His breath immediately caught in his throat and he pulled back from her, the shock on his lips feeling like he had been struck with a thousand stinging hexes. When she made a small sound, his eyes narrowed and he nearly pulled away from her, sure that he had frightened her. But then he looked into her eyes and saw the same raw desire that he knew was in his. His knees nearly buckled in surprise, but he kept his feet and kissed her again.

He went slowly, knowing that she wasn't even close to as experienced as he was. In fact, he didn't think she'd ever kissed anyone before. But then she pulled him closer to her and that was his undoing. He groaned and immediately deepened the kiss, shoving his hands into her hair and pulling her flush against him. He wanted to go on kissing her forever, but eventually they had to breathe and he released her mouth. He didn't let go of her though, simply tucked her head under his chin where it fit perfectly and held her tightly.

Their subsequent discussion did not go exactly how he expected, but then again, nothing with Catherine usually went as he expected. The last thing he wanted was for Regulus to catch wind of his feelings for her. His brother didn't much care when he thought the girls Sirius were with were only passing fancies. Regulus knew as well as Sirius did that none of them really meant anything to him. Catherine was something completely different however and Sirius would do everything in his power to make sure she was safe. He wouldn't put it past his brother to hurt her out of spite or even on his mother's orders. Merlin knew what the old bat would have to say if she knew Sirius was in love with a muggleborn.

He was actually a bit shocked when he confessed that he loved her. He almost hadn't said it, but something in her face let him know that it was all right. That even if she didn't feel the same way about him yet, that she wouldn't ridicule or laugh at him. When she started to cry, he cursed himself in his head until he realized that she was happy. He was even more surprised when she admitted that she felt the same way and he couldn't stop the giddy smile that made its way onto his face.

Then she suggested that they keep seeing each other, but in secret. Truth be told, he had thought of that himself, but he didn't want her to think that he was ashamed of her or only wanted to sneak around to be with her. He did think it could work though, if they were careful.

They spent the next hour just talking. He never stopped touching her and kissed her often, feeling like he needed to make sure that this was all real and not one of the many dreams he had been having over the last few months. Finally though, he realized they would have to make an appearance at dinner lest their friends get suspicious.

"We should probably head to dinner," he said.

"Probably," Catherine agreed, but she made no move to get up.

"Why aren't you moving then?" he asked with a laugh.

"I just wish it didn't have to be a secret," she replied pouting. He kissed her cheek.

"I know," he said. "Come on." He stood and pulled her up from the couch and then kissed her very thoroughly.

"Not helping," she complained and he smirked at her as they discussed how he was going to get away from James during the summer. Sirius was a little concerned about this himself, but he assured her he would figure something out. It wasn't that he didn't trust his friend, he trusted James with his life. But he didn't want anyone to know and inadvertently let something slip.

Sirius squeezed her hand one last time before they stepped out the door and into the corridor. They walked to the Great Hall and it was taking everything in him not to grab her and snog her against the wall. He swallowed hard and forced himself to think about something else, anything else but her.

They separated as they came into the Great Hall and Sirius joined his friends at the Gryffindor table. Remus glanced behind him as Catherine walked towards Myra and raised an eyebrow. Sirius was positive that his friend suspected something, but Remus said nothing as Sirius sat down. James punched him in the arm for being late and made a joke about broom closets that made all of them laugh. Sirius laughed along with his friends, but knew that there would be no more broom closets in his future. Well, unless a certain Ravenclaw was with him of course.


End file.
